Monster
by pinktink008
Summary: Just a few blurbs about James Buchanan Barnes's time as the Winter Soldier as inspired by both the comic books and the movie Captain America: The Winter Soldier. The rating is for implied violence and possible language. WIP (SongFic)
1. Chapter 1

**Monster**

**Author's Note**: This is a work of pure fanfiction, a mash up between movie 'verse and comic book 'verse versions of the character of James Buchannan "Bucky" Barnes. After hearing this song, and while knowing a bit about Winter Soldier, the idea came to me to use the lyrics of "Monster" by Imagine Dragons for this little work of fiction. Most of the lyrics seem to speak to the transformation of Bucky into Winter Soldier. None of this will match up with the movie _Captain America: The Winter Soldier _but it was fun to write nonetheless. I don't own any of the characters found within as they belong to Marvel and Marvel Studios and Disney. I wrote this simply for my own and the reader's enjoyment. I hope someone reads this and likes it anyway! Reviews are always welcomed!

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Bucky fought against the restraints on his body. He looked around, panic setting in as his heart raced. The pounding in his chest caused a roaring sound in his ears and had he been standing, he surely would have passed out. He saw spots before his eyes but he could make out a few things. There were people around him, working on him. He felt each poke, each prodding that he was being given. When someone realized that he was awake, he was given something to make him sleep although Bucky tried to fight it. He didn't want to go under. He wanted to know what the hell was being done to him right now.

As his eyes glazed over and a dazed expression came across his features, he tried to continue to watch was was being done. It didn't take long for his eyes to fluttered closed and for him to stop fighting against whatever restraints were on him at the moment. As his eyes closed, memories seemed to come forth without any work on Bucky's part. Bits of his past seemed to be disappearing on him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember everything about who he was and where he had been before now. It was like someone was stealing those memories and replacing them with new ones. There was a blond man at the edges of his memory, someone that seemed important to him although he couldn't place the face that was there in his thoughts.

The person he saw was slowly warped into some sort of abomination. There was a part of his mind that knew this wasn't right. Whoever this blond man was, he wasn't the enemy but every fiber of his being told him otherwise. This blond man was the enemy. The life that he thought he knew wasn't true. None of what he thought he knew was true. That sort of thing was beaten into him so to speak and it was something that he was starting to learn had to be true.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**: I know that each chapter is very short but that's sort of the point of this. Each is just a mere snippet of what Bucky Barnes went through while he was the Winter Soldier. Remember that this is pure speculation and a combination of the comic 'verse and the movie 'verse. I hope you enjoy! And remember to listen to "Monster" by Imagine Dragons when reading this because that song was and continues to be the inspiration for this little story! R&amp;R!

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The Winter Soldier's ice blue eyes snapped open as he was awakened for his cryogenic sleep. Blinking and dizzy, he stumbled forward and stepped from the pod that they kept him him when he wasn't completing a mission for them, even if he had no idea who 'they' were or who _he_ was either. The dark-haired man grabbed hold of the nearest person although he paid little attention to how tight his grip was until it was too late. The Winter Soldier crushed the man's throat without a second thought. He tossed the body aside and glared at the people in white lab coats that bustled about around him.

Someone handed him a folder and the Winter Soldier snatched it away with a scowl, dark brows knitted together in concentration. He looked through the file in his hand, studying it. It was his next target. He was to make it look like an accident but Howard Stark needed to die. The man seemed to know too much, making him a danger to the organization that had created the Winter Soldier. However, none of that mattered to the assassin. It was his job to kill whomever they sent him to kill. It was as simple as that and he had been created to be the perfect soldier. Following orders was all the dark-haired man knew how to do at this point.

He tossed the folder aside and marched off to gather his weapons. In all honestly, he would only need one. A rifle. A well placed bullet to send a car careening out of control would do the job quite nicely. Or perhaps he would take out the engine. Or the Winter Soldier could use a single bullet to take out the driver. The way that he chose to do it didn't matter as long as the job was completed. As long as the Winter Soldier took out the man named Howard Stark, no one would question how the soldier chose to go about it. If anyone else got in his way, they would die as well. It made no difference to the man with the metal arm.

He had his mission and it was simple. Once it was completed, he would return to this base of operations and they would wipe his memory. Then the Winter Soldier would return to his frozen sleep-like state until they needed him again.

He was a weapon.

A tool.

A means to an end.

He did his job like a good soldier and didn't question his orders.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I hope that you guys are enjoying this story. I know it's a departure from the other things that I've written before but I'm enjoying writing it. I'm not sure it'll tie in with the other Captain America stories that I've been writing or not but it's possible. Anyway, I appreciate the handful of views that it's gotten and I hope that more people will give this story a shot! Enjoy the new chapter. I'm sure this will be coming to a close soon and I'll do my best to focus on other stories to get them updated as well!

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The assassin positioned himself on the roof of one of the tallest buildings in the area, watching through the scope on his rifle for the car to come into view. The only sound right now happened to be that of each passing car and the Winter Soldier preferred it that way. The silence was his friend. It brought him focus. It helped him to see with such clarity that what he was doing was the right thing. His mission would help the organization that he worked for further their mission and that was important. It was the only thing that mattered to the soldier. He was doing good work and one day he would perhaps even be rewarded for that good work. He was helping to reshape the world around him, to make it reflect what the people he worked for wanted for the world. It didn't matter to the Winter Soldier if other people saw what he was doing in a negative light. He knew that it was right. It was what they wanted of him and carrying out his mission was the only thing that mattered to the dark-haired man.

This man, this _Howard Stark_, stood in the way of that group's mission. Stark was getting too close to the truth. He was a threat. And threats needed to be quelled. They needed to be squashed before they could gain any momentum. That was where the Winter Soldier came in. That was the reason that the assassin with the bionic arm was sitting on this rooftop right now, waiting for the perfect opportunity.

Looking through the scope yet again, the Winter Soldier counted the heartbeats until the car would be in the perfect position.

One ...

Two ...

Three ...

Four ...

On 'five', he pulled the trigger twice. Each time he squeezed the shot rang in his ear although the silencer on his weapon kept anyone else from hearing it. This was to look like an accident for all intents and purposes so someone hearing the gunshots or seeing the Winter Soldier would defeat the purpose after all. One shot hit the right front tire. The second hit the engine. He watched, waited, as the car careened out of control. As it crashed into one of the cars beside it, the Winter Soldier allowed a flicker of a smile to grace his lips. Then he took apart his weapon to put it away. His job was done here and it was time to get the hell out of the area before someone came looking.


	4. Chapter 4

There were only a handful of men in the room as the Winter Soldier walked in. The anger and frustration were clear on his face as memories tugged at the corners of his mind. It was enough to drive a lesser man insane. For the Winter Soldier, it was an irritation. He could remember but he couldn't remember. The memories felt jumbled and faded around the edges, like an old photograph. It wasn't something that he could make sense of in any meaningful way. The fragmented memories were like a horrible daydream, floating around in his head even now.

Someone tried to nudge him toward a chair in the middle of the room and for the most part, he allowed himself to be moved. He'd sat in that chair before. He knew what it meant that he was being guided there now. Someone else near him whispered that the soldier had been awake for too long. Another commented that he looked as if he was coming unraveled. The Winter Soldier shot a glare in the direction of the whispered voices and the whispers stopped. They often behaved as if he couldn't hear them, as if he didn't understand their words. Even if they spoke another language, the soldier understood. He knew that they thought that he was unstable, that he was a monster of their making.

However, like any good soldier, he did as he was told. Even now the soldier moved to sit in the chair. He watched, turning his head just slightly as other fluttered about around him, moving here and there to get things ready. It was time for the Winter Soldier to be wiped, his memories taken from him. At a moment like this, that suited the dark-haired man just fine. He didn't want to remember because remembering was a painful process. None of the puzzle pieces in his mind fit together in any meaningful way. Each piece seemed either too big or too small to fit in the proper position which made it hard for the soldier to see the big picture of his life before this.

Heavy footsteps resounded in the room as a man walked over to the Winter Soldier. The man looked over the broken assassin sitting in the chair. Dark eyes surveyed the other man before he turned to one of the scientists, ignoring the look on the Winter Soldier's face as he looked up.

"Протрите его память. Я хочу никаких следов Barnes не оставил. Если вам нужно сделать, это, протрите его во второй раз. Он не спал слишком долго. Мы не можем позволить себе, чтобы он помнит. Ни один момент."

A mouth guard was placed in the Winter Soldier's mouth, which he dutifully opened wide to accept the plastic piece. He bit down on it so he wouldn't grind his teeth or bite his own tongue off. Both of these were possibilities since he had watched another man sit in this chair once before and without the mouth guard, blood ran out of the other man's mouth as he bit off his tongue while the electrical charge ran through his body. Now the soldier sat up, waiting as the implements that would wipe his memory were lowered and placed on his head. Restraints were used to keep him from writhing too much. He tugged on them merely to ensure that they were tightened enough to handle the pulling that they were likely to endure in a few moments.

The man who had spoken earlier nodded to someone that the Winter Soldier currently couldn't see. Instead the soldier closed his eyes tightly, already biting down on the plastic piece in his mouth. He heard the click of a switch being flipped and then ...

And then nothing but a blinding pain touching every nerve ending in his body until his mind and body both gave out, leaving the Winter Soldier unconscious and without any memories other than the ones he was about to be fed yet again by the ruthless men and women running this organization.

When the time was right, of course.

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(Author's Note: I used Google's translate tool to get the Russian words there in the story and I'm sure if you used the same tool, you'd get a translation that doesn't match the words that I inputted in the first place so here's the original English translation: "Wipe his memory. I want no trace of Barnes left behind. If you need to do it, wipe him a second time. He's been awake for far too long. We can't afford for him to remember a thing. Not a single moment.")


	5. Chapter 5

The Winter Soldier walked with a purpose toward his intended target. Just the sight of him was enough to strike fear into most people's hearts. This man was no exception. The assassin knew nothing of who the person was that he was being sent to kill. He didn't need to know anything. He had a job to do, a mission to complete. Once it was completed, he would be placed back into his deep sleep. That was all that he needed to know. Anything more than that and the Winter Soldier knew that he would be completely reprogrammed again. That was an experience he did not want to repeat. While he had no memory of the event itself, there were remanents, always pieces left behind, and there were the scars. Even if he didn't know where they each came from, the Winter Soldier was aware of the great amounts of pain necessary to cause such scarring to occur in the first place.

There was no time to think right now, however, because his target was in sight and his orders were clear. Kill the man in front of him and return to HYDRA's base yet again. Words weren't necessary at a time like this because the Winter Soldier's eyes spoke volumes for him. An anger, white hot and dangerous, simmered in his icy glare as he grabbed the man by the throat and started to choke the life out of him.

It wasn't typical for the Winter Soldier to get this close to his target but previous attempts on his life hadn't worked out in the assassins favor. It seemed wiser to take care of this target face to face. There was no way around having to get his hands dirty this time and the assassin knew it.

The man fought back, clawing at the Winter Soldier's metal arm but finding no way to get a grip. His hand tightened around the man's throat as a low growl slipped out from beneath the mask that he wore to hide his identity from the world at large. Anonymity made his job easier after all. As he watched the man gasp and claw, kick and hit at the assassin, the Winter Soldier's ice blue eyes narrowed. He held tight until the man took one last gasp. Then the assassin let go, letting the man unceremoniously drop to the ground.

He turned away even as the body made a gentle 'thump' as it crumpled to the ground. The Winter Soldier marched his way back into the shadows. There would be a car waiting for him to return him to the secret HYDRA base and that was where the dark-haired assassin was headed at the moment, becoming one with the darkness around him quite easily.


	6. Chapter 6

This man, this mission had changed everything that the Winter Soldier thought he knew. This blonde man swore that he knew the assassin, that they had been like brothers once. Flashes of a life that didn't feel like his own came to him but that was all that they were. Nothing felt real. Nothing felt coherent. Nothing seemed to fit.

He was like a puzzle that couldn't be put together again. Too many missing pieces. Too much blank space.

How was he supposed to figure out who James Barnes was when even he wasn't sure where to start?

This wasn't what he had wanted or what he had expected. This had never happened to the assassin before. Walls felt like they were crashing down inside of him. Not once but each time he saw the blonde man again. He fought harder because of this. There was nothing but the mission.

And then a handful of words were spoken by the blonde man and it was like a switch flipped in the assassin's brain.

"Because I'm with you to the end of the line."

Had he said something similar to the blonde man before? The words felt familiar, like a warm blanket. Like an old friend. He wondered if that was what this man was to him. An old friend. Despite the fight, it was that thought that pushed the assassin to pull the blonde man, broken as he was, out of the Potomac after the Helicarrier crashed. It was that thought that stirred something that felt like sympathy in the assassin and although that was at war with everything else he had been taught, the dark-haired man left his opponent - his mission - on the banks of the Potomac before walking away.


End file.
